Lace, Life, Writer's Block & Love
Posted by Shireen Sandoval 02/08/13, 10:08am
I had a really great idea for my blog last week. I was going to write about Lace & Life and how sometimes they parallel one another. I even talked to my stylist about it. She sent me pictures, we traded ideas, we outlined a plan. Matter-of-fact, I'd just bought three gorgeous Lace dresses from BCBG (for my Deco Drive television wardrobe.) They were actually the inspiration behind what was "going to be" a fetching fashion piece about configured fabric. I wanted to call it: "The Snapshots of Lace." I was going to share a few priceless pictures from my life: my wedding, my baptism, even my prom.
Coincidentally, in each picture, I was wearing Lace. I had some good analogies, too. Lace & Life are so alike, both delicate, intricate and woven with the unexpected: gorgeous, unforgiving, transparent, opaque. At times both run seamlessly. Then things happen. You hit a snag. A thread breaks loose and without warning, everything starts to unravel. You can't stop it. The more you try, the worse it gets. Instead of tugging, you have to just let it go. Let it run its course (because there's nothing else left to do.) You just hope when it stops, you can do some damage control. Afterward, you try to bunch it all back together the best you can. You tie it. Knot it. Sew it. It doesn't really matter, though. For some reason, it's never quite the same again. Your Lace & Life are forever changed, worn in by experience and fraught with humanity.
I was on a blog-writing roll! Click, click, click; my fingers danced over the keyboard. Then (pause) I stopped. My mind went blank. I stared at the doily on my coffee table for inspiration. Nothing. I went to my closet and felt up everything frilly. Nothing. I went back to my computer, sat down and stared at the blinking cursor. I sighed. I realized for whatever reason, the thread of this blog had just unlaced itself from the needle. I closed my laptop and walked away.
The next day, as Lace languished in my subconsciouness, Life went on. I boarded a plane leaving for Los Angeles to interview the cast of the new movie, A Good Day To Die Hard, starring Bruce Willis. I landed, checked into the hotel, changed and headed to the Red Carpet. I chatted with the actors, watched the movie, slept for a few hours, got up, got into hair and make-up and prepared for my one-on-one sit-down with Bruce.
There we were, holed up in a hotel room at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills. Bruce is very soft spoken, humble, and easy to be around. As we talked about 25 years of the Die Hard movie franchise, I fought what I call interview abyss. Relaxed, my mind wandered. I looked at him. I looked through him. Then back at him. God, I thought, look at this man. He had come so far and done so much with his Life. He was a major movie star, a good father, a great actor. It was a nice conversation. The movie has incredible action and still intact, after all these years; the morose sarcasm of John McClane (the character Bruce made famous.) I Love the one-liner: "Yippee Ki Yay!" Just as I was wrapping up the interview, Bruce, unknowingly, broke my writer's block. He said: "After all of these years, the best part of my life and my career is now, because I'm able to appreciate it. I'm able to Love it."
Another day passed and so did my deadline. Lace, Life, Writer's Block & now Love, loomed over me.
When I got back to Miami, I opened my computer and looked at my half blog. I noticed the date, which of late, I'd become obsessed with. I knew Love was lurking. It was almost Valentine's Day. It's a day named after several Christian Saints, all known by the name Valentinus. The most famous one was a celebrated martyr. He married people who were legally forbidden from Love and commitment. He also helped people cast out of society by the Roman Empire find their place in life again. Later, for his "good deeds," Valentinus was imprisoned. It was there he fell in Love with his captor's daughter. Before he was executed, he wrote his Lover one last note, signing it: "Your Valentine."
Celebrating matters of the heart should never be trivialized, even if it means we have to have February 14th to remind us. As commercialized as it is, as cheesy as it seems, the original meaning of it is anything but. I got engaged on Valentine's Day, to a man I really Loved (he was my plus one, my soulmate, the Love of my life.) He got down on one knee at The Shore Club on South Beach and asked me to be his wife. He wrote me a letter and said all the things I had longed to hear. Then he read them out loud. He had a diamond, he gave it to me and said things people who Love each other should say to one another. I L-o-v-e-d him. A lot. I met him when I was young. I always knew in my heart he was the one but for some reason time, distance, other people, jobs and life, kept us apart. Until that night. Eventually, we got married. I did so with an open heart, an open mind and a life of Love ahead of me.
When Cupid (the Roman God of Desire,) pulled back his bow (a symbol of uncontrollable Love & Lust ,) he was aiming straight for me. With perfect precision, he shot his arrow straight through my heart. Bullseye. It struck like lightning. It sliced into me like Excalibur burying itself into that green rock. It was a sword in a stone, not even the likes of King Arthur could save me from. I didn't understand it. I didn't fight it. I succumbed to it. Fully. I didn't think about it. I just did it. I, was, in, Love.
Unfortunately, history already knew what I did not. Cupid and his romances always ended in tragedy - at least in Greek & Roman Mythology. So, as fate would have it, my happily ever after would become unhappily over. It was traumatic. It was heartbreaking. I was devastated. I cried. I wept. I sobbed. I mourned the man I was made to Love.
It would take years, but later, painfully, slowly, I wrapped my hands around that arrow and dislodged it from my chest. It was deep. The wound bled. It oozed. It ached. Strangely enough, the same feelings I had when falling in Love, I experienced when falling out of Love, too. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I walked around in a trance. I was obsessed with my Lover. The end result however, wasn't the same. It was a complete and utter reversal of fortune (at least I thought it was at the time.) Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, Pleasure and all things Beautiful, removed my name from her list. I was no longer in Love, yet, I was able to Love more effectively, in other ways (like Bruce did.) I grew to Love my Life, my health, my parents, my friends and myself, more than I had before.
Despite the pain and suffering, I wouldn't change it. Ever. I've learned (with time and distance) that to give and receive Love is a gift. I'm not just talking about romance. I'm talking about all Love between all people. It's what life is about. It's the root of our human existence (that and 100 trillion cells.) Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote: "Tis better to have love and lost. Than never to have loved at all." I get it now. It's taken awhile to sort things out, think things through and even though everything's said and done, the week of Valentine's Day (2013), I'll get my final divorce papers.
Someone said to me the other day: "You only want to be married for status." My reply: "My status is single now." For the record, I still believe in Love. I believe in commitment. I believe in marriage and I happen to Love Valentine's Day. A teddy bear is for comfort, so when the person you Love isn't there, you feel their presence. Chocolate is to leave the sweet taste of Love in your mouth. Dinner is to celebrate good health and fortune, together. Jewelry is a treasure to remember times that shine brightly. Flowers keep new and old Love fresh and alive, because they are, too. Lastly, a card is to say what the corners of our hearts sometimes cannot.
Speaking of cards, while researching this blog, I found out old fashioned vintage Valentine's Day cards from the 1800's, were dressed in Lace. It stands for the purity of Love. That's why you see it on wedding gowns, at baptisms and proms, worn to celebrate special moments that eventually become special memories, "The Snapshots of Lace." I guess I was on to something after all.
My post script: Lace
is really in right now; you need it for your Spring wardrobe. Preferably a color. Layer it over something beige or nude-like. It gives the borderline granny look some gorgeous sex appeal. With or without a date, dress to impress on February 14th
because when you Love
the way you
look, it's a lot easier to Love
Happy Valentine's Day