Parent to Parent: Crushes and Dating

WSVN--Elizabeth Garcia is your typical teenager.

She likes hanging out with friends and going to the movies.

But a year ago, her heart was in a different place.

She dared to enter the dating world.

Elizabeth: "You feel giddy and I think you start to lose a couple of brain cells too. When you become interested in someone everything eles can become black and your first priority is that person."

While Elizabeth was excited, her parents were apprehensive.

Edward: "She was getting involved in something that was completely new and it was something she would have to be able to handle."

Seven News Parenting Expert Dr. Debbie Glasser says it's natural for parents and children to be nervous about dating.

But the last thing you want to do is ignore the topic and hope it goes away.

Dr. Debbie: "Rather than turn your head the other way and hope your children do not develop crushes. This really is an opportunity to get a lot of important dialogues going."

First off, don't crush their crushes.

Help them understand these feelings, discuss what is appropriate behavior,

But also set the rules.

Kids need to know their curfew, if they can go out alone, and where they're allowed to go.

Dr. Debbie: "Parents find your voice. Think about these issues. Reconnect when you were this age when you had crushed and be available. Be a resource for your kid so they can learn your values, your messages and hear what you have to say."

Also make sure to find teachable moments.

Don't just talk to your teen once.

When topics come up, discuss issues like sex, aids, and alcohol.

Dr. Debbie: "Maybe at the dinner table you don't have an opportunity but later on you might find your child watching on of those teen dating shows. You might sit down and ask to join them and say "boy, how do you think she feels when her boyfriend said that to her." What would you do in a situation like that."

But above all else, you have to be a positive role model.

Even as teenagers, kids mimic what they see at home.

If you treat your partner well, not only will your kids treat their partners well, but they will also expect to be treated the same way.

Dr. Debbie: "Your kids are learning a lot about how you relate about how you interact with others about how you treat others and about you permit others to treat you. They can learn a lot from watching us."

After a year of dating, Elizabeth found breaking up is hard to do.

She's no longer with the same boy, but she's learned valuable lessons she can apply to her next relationship.

Elizabeth: "I want to get to know a person first. See that there is some brains behind that brawn. That there's more to that person than meets the eye."

IF YOU HAVE A CONCERN DR. DEBBIE CAN HELP YOU WITH E-MAIL US AT:
parent@wsvn.com

DR. DEBBIE GLASSER'S WEBSITE:
newsforparents.org