Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Parent to Parent: Sex After Baby
You've had a baby, and you've had plenty of time to recuperate, so now it's time to get busy in the romance department, but for many parents, the demands of a little one can kill that loving feeling. Seven's Christine Cruz explains in today's Parent to Parent.
WSVN -- Two-year-old Gavin Mortazavi is the apple of his parents' eye. He loves nothing more than to play with his toys and play and play, and for mom and dad, there's not much room for romance.
Javid Mortazavi, Gavin's Dad: "I think one of the biggest things was time, time to yourself and time to each other. That's probably the hardest thing."
Having a little one definitely changes your life. Snapshots in the family album show smiles and lots of love, but, when it comes to sex after baby, well, moms aren't always ready to get back into the swing of things.
Viviana Mortazavi, Gavin's Mom: "Eight weeks came and he was like, 'All right, babe, it's the 8-week anniversary,' and I was like, 'No, I'm not ready yet, and I actually postponed it.'"
Seven's parenting expert Dr. Valerie Goode says new parents should get ready for all kinds of changes when baby is born. Sex is often at the bottom of the list.
Dr. Valerie Goode: "First of all, I'd say you have to accept the fact that your head's probably not going to be in it, and this doesn't just mean for the mother, also the father."
New parents are often so tired, lack of desire is inevitable and many moms feel depressed and anxious about how they look. Dr. Val says it's all part of a normal adjustment period.
Dr. Valerie Goode: "Your desire has changed for sex but not forever. It really does come back, so you've really got to not make yourself really upset."
Getting that loving feeling back comes with time, but there are some things you can do. First, make time for each other, even if it's just for a nice romantic stroll. Communication with your partner is also very important.
Dr. Valerie Goode: "You have to look at this as a process, and if you stay away from blaming each other, you're going to be halfway there to having sex again."
And don't forget plenty of pampering.
Dr. Valerie Goode: "Take a hot bath, reconnect with yourself, take advantage of moments to pamper yourself."
The Mortazavis say they've discovered another ingredient for spicing things up: spontaneity.
Viviana Mortazavi: "He happened to doze off on a nap, and I went to the bathroom really quick, and when I come out of the bathroom, the lights are dim, candles are lit, in a split. I didn't take more than five minutes in the bathroom, and there he was stripped down to his briefs."
Christine Cruz: "The lesson here, try to relax, enjoy your new family and seize the moment whenever it comes along. The Mortazavis say they've learned a lot with Gavin and will know what to expect when he someday has a little brother or sister."
FOR MORE INFORMATION:
Dr. Valerie Goode: