Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Parent to Parent: College Kids Come Home
In the past, a college education meant getting a good job. But more and more college grads are forced to move back home, because they can't find good jobs. Parents and their adult children, living together again under the same roof. Dr. Valerie has some advice on how to make it work. Here's Lynn Martinez with "Parent to Parent."
WSVN -- Allison Miller: "Mom, where's the cream cheese?"
Just when you thought they were out of the house for good, they're back.
Judy Miller, Parent: "My son graduated UF about a year and a half ago. Allison graduated in August from FSU. She has two bachelors degrees."
Mom Judy Miller is very proud of her two college graduates, but she and her husband weren't exactly expecting this.
Judy Miller: "I have Allison's stuff here, and I have Brad's stuff there."
Thanks to an unstable economy and lack of jobs, both were forced to move back home.
Judy Miller: "We were counting the days until we were empty nesters."
7's parenting expert Dr. Valerie Goode says families need to be flexible.
Dr. Valerie Goode: "It isn't like it was years and years ago, where people were getting married and having babies and going off and having their own lives."
But she says it can be a good thing for all involved.
Dr. Valerie Goode: "It's also a new opportunity to grow a new relationship with your children who are not children anymore."
To make it work, Dr. Val says sit down and discuss how it's going to work, such as, do you expect your child to contribute to household expenses and chores? Is there a time limit for them to move out?
So far, it's been working out well for the Miller family. Each child makes dinner once a week, pays their own personal expenses and because everyone goes to work, they're pretty much all on the same schedule.
Brad Miller, Moved Back Home: "It's more of us being used to being more independent at home, where before, we could rely heavily on mom and dad."
And even though mom is looking forward to one day being an empty-nester, she is really enjoying the time together.
Judy Miller: "I think maybe I'll look back and be sad that this time is over."
Lynn Martinez: "Dr. Val says parents shouldn't need to set ground rules when their child moves back home from college; there should be a mutual respect for one another."