Friday, February 17, 2006
7 News Features: Destined For Divorce
It's a statistic we're all too familiar with. Approximately half of all marriages end up in divorce. But there may be a way of knowing if you and your future spouse are meant to be before it's too late. 7's Tom Haynes has more with tonight's special assignment report.
WSVN--Ask anybody who's tied the knot, maintaining a healthy marriage can be a mystery.
But just like the Da Vinci Code, if you look closely enough, there are symbols and signs waiting to be decoded.
Tim McLaughlin: "There's no perfect relationship."
Kami McLaughlin: "There are things we will always have to work at."
Eight months since they said "I Do", Kami and Tim would like to uncover the secret to a long lasting relationship.
But little do they know the answers to the future could be revealed by solving eight simple questions.
Tim McLaughlin: "These are all everyday things that any normal relationship would come across."
Kami McLaughlin: "It points out where the other person is at."
Coral Springs doctor Oren Hernandez created this code to a happy marriage.
He designed the survey after he realized that figuring out your spouse was a lot like deciphering a puzzle.
Fill out the form honestly and he could tell if you are destined for divorce.
Dr. Oren Henandez: "As the couples start working more with the questions, they start becoming more aware of their biases and sometimes they come in touch with the reality of the relationship they have."
The multiple choice questions include:
Question 1 - Money is the number one cause of arguments in our relationship.
Question 2 - Do you believe arguing is healthy?
Question 3 - We have trouble communicating with each other.
Question 4 - I'm satisfied with our sex life.
Question 5 - I trust my spouse completely.
Question 6 - Is taking time for myself in a marriage important?
Question 7 - I am worried that my spouse has the potential to be unfaithful.
Question 8 - Spirituality is important in our relationship.
Score between six and eight A's and the doctor thinks you and your partner could be together forever.
In his mind, the test proves you likely have the same outlook on everything from your finances to your feelings
Dr. Oren Henandez: "Oh, everyone is in love with love."
Tom Haynes: "And that's where real life is a lot like the Da Vinci Code. In the Da Vinci Code, many readers confuse fact with fiction. In a marriage, one of the reasons so many people end up separated is because they have an unrealistic vision of romance."
Dr. Oren Henandez: "People see what they want to see and they dont hear what the othr person is saying and they dont see what is obvious."
Psychiatry professor Dr. Jacqueline Olds agrees.
Dr. Jacqueline Olds: "Sometimes real love over decades doesn't quite measure up to our idealized idea of how it ougt to be."
But she isn't convinced Dr. Hernandez's questionare cracks the code on long term happiness.
Dr. Jacqueline Olds: "I don't think it's a very complicated test. I wouldnt use it as my main tool in measuring and looking at mistakes."
Kami and Tim feel they know each other fairly well.
They both got four A's meaning they have a little work to do.
Tim McLaughlin: "It's a good test. I mean its fair. It's not really in depth. It might uncover a problem if something serious is going on.
Kami McLaughlin: "We havent run into any major drama where we have to work together at but its still early on."
Remember Dr. Hernandez says six to eight A's means your relationship is in good shape. Four to six A's - you might want to take a closer look.
Anything under four - talk to your partner.
FOR MORE INFORMATION:
9441 W. Sample Rd.
Coral Springs, FL
Question 1: Money is the number one cause of arguments in our relationship.
Question 2: Do you believe arguing is healthy?
Question 3: We have trouble communicating with each other.
Question 4: I'm satisfied with our sex life.
Question 5: I trust my spouse completely.
Question 6: Is taking time for myself in a marriage important?
Question 7: I am worried that my spouse has the potential to be unfaithful.
Question 8: Spirituality is important in our relationship.
To score, count the number of 'a's" you have answered.
6-8 a's: your relationship is in pretty good shape
4-6 a's: there' something you might want to look at
0-4 a's: talk to your spouse