Tuesday, October 7, 2003
Woman to Woman: How To Get Over A Break Up
Okay ladies, this is a subject a lot of us are bitter about... Break ups -- they're always painful and for most of us, hard to get over. But tonight, we're giving you advice to help you check out of Heartbreak Hotel.
(WSVN) -- "You know that breaking up is hard to do."
It's an old song about nothing new... breaking up is still hard to do.
"We fought too much and he just started getting way out of hand, the jealousy started kicking in."
Kim Gruman says, "I was feeling depressed and angry."
Whether it's as cold as a "Post It"...
Or as public as celebrity breakups...
Breaking up is hard... In real life... It really hurts... Just ask Kim Gruman.
Kim says, "I mentioned that I wanted to part ways, and it was difficult, it was painful."
After six years of marriage, Kim and her husband decided to split up.
She says, "I realized the truth of our relationship was really based on need."
Kim's not alone... lots of women these days are realizing enough's enough.
But before you end it one of the first things you should do -- decide if you're really ready to move on...
If not consider going back... Ironically this will move your relationship forward.
Life CoachHelenne Deutscher says, "You need to go back and give it another shot or at least talk to the other person and say hey listen what if we could do it this way this time and explore all your alternatives."
Then... if there's still no hope... Start the recovery process... remembering grief is allowed, just don't wallow in it.
A lot of women turn to food for comfort... and its ok to drown your depression in a pint of ice cream... but once you're done... experts say you need to move past the grief process... start by writing a letter to your ex but don't mail it.
"If its cursing them if its anything that you need to put into that letter needs to be included and then take it out and burn it and you will be amazed at how much better you're going to feel."
That's what Kim did.
She also made a list -- Life Coach Helenne Deutscher says yours should include the top three reasons why you're in the relationship -- and ways you can move past them.
Kim realized she was tied to her husband's financial security... Now she owns her own home, has a good job and is living her own dreams.
Kim says, "I am allowing myself to give myself all that I deserve and I don't need to attach myself to somebody else to receive that."
Also... experts say don't embarrass yourself by driving past your Ex's house or making dozens of late-night phone calls-- those are all moves you'll regret.
And consider turning to a Life Coach-- they're like therapists you pay to guide you through a situation without being emotionally involved.
FOR MORE INFORMATION:
Helenne Deutscher/Life Coach
Fort Lauderdale, FL