Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Woman to Woman: Lack Of Intimacy After The Baby Arrives
"Ladies"...and gentleman -- it's time to talk Woman To Woman. It's a new segment we're bringing you every week where we can speak what's on our minds. Tonight, we're talking sex, or should we say the lack of it, after a baby arrives.
(WSVN) -- First comes love.....
Then comes marriage...
Then comes the baby carriage...
And there goes the sex!
"Right now the priority is the baby, so I don't even think about that."
"You're so tired, and you just want to sleep whenever you get a chance."
"There's not enough hours in the day for anything, let alone intimacy."
In fact, for thousands of couples having children means a lot less love making.
Mark Gambello says, "Immediately after our son was born, that first year was extremely difficult for the two of us."
He adds, "We definitely drifted apart from the intimacy."
No one knows that better than these two...Kelly and Mark Gambello love little Andy, but having a child did little for their love life.
Kelly says, "I was tired all the time and I was still trying to keep the house and make sure dinner was ready for him when he came home. By the time he came home I was wiped."
A baby is a lot of work -- no Mom or Dad will argue with that -- but it is well worth it.
Still -- between work and the baby there's little time left for intimacy.
So how much is enough...Some psychologists say if you're not having sex twice a week, you're living in a sexless marriage.
But Psychologist, Dr. Priscilla Marotta says, there are ways to spice up your sex life....
Start by making time for each other.
Dr. Priscilla Marotta of the Center of Psychological Effectiveness says, "Part of that adult time needs to be to getting out of the house but then part of that adult time needs to be coming home early enough and relaxed enough to engage in some sexual intimacy."
Perhaps a good time to do that is when your baby takes a nap.
And Dr. Marotta says another must - a vacation alone just Mommy and Daddy.
"You need to have some time away so you can get refreshed."
Another way to rev-up the romance.. remove the remote.
That's what Kelly and Mark did.
Kelly says, "Now we can focus on each other and we make the time to focus on each other."
Mark says, "She's looking prettier and looking sexier and it's sort of a new marriage almost."
Experts say communication, trust, respect and a healthy sex life are key to a good marriage.
We're talking Woman To Woman, but men, remember if it's about women, its bound to affect you.
FOR MORE INFORMATION:
Dr. Priscilla Marotta
Center of Psychological Effectiveness
300 Nw 70Th Avenue, Suite 302
Plantation, FL 33317