The restaurant was beautiful, but the woman sitting at the table across from me was spewing so much hate the mood instantly turned ugly. Although the music was pretty loud, her voice managed to steamroll over it: “I’m so glad I finally get to see you in person, you’re exactly what I thought you would be and I don’t like you at all,” she said.
I was shocked by her candor and a little frightened by her aggressive demeanor. Her verbal attack didn’t stop there, “You’re disgusting,” she snarled. Before she could say anything else, I immediately gathered my things, stood up from the table and told my photographer and producer, who were with me to do a blog feature on the new restaurant, that I would meet them outside.
As I walked out the door, I leaned into the woman and said: “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you.” Just as the door closed behind me, I heard her say to my crew: “She’s a bitch.” My colleagues quickly came to my defense, but I didn’t stick around to hear the conversation through.
Once I was outside on the patio, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and quickly collected myself as one of the restaurant owners approached me to find out what had happened. I apologized for the inconvenience and asked if we could move to a more private part of the outdoor dining area. He was gracious and accommodating.
The shoot went on as planned, but the brief exchange between myself and the woman who decided for whatever reason she didn’t like me (despite not knowing or ever meeting me before,) lingered in my heart. The thing is…
I used to think if I was a good, decent person; polite, hard-working and kind, life would just work itself out. Maybe it’s naive of me to think that if I’m nice to people, they’ll be nice back or at least give me a chance. Instead, the situation taught me something much deeper.
You don’t always get out of life what you put into it. You can, however, choose (choose being the operative word here) to make it work for you. It’s all about your reaction and most importantly, what you do with it afterward. A few years ago, I probably would have sat there and let the woman be rude to me. Even worse, the old me would have made myself stay put, sit in her toxic fumes and perhaps even try and win her over.
I’m not trying to be all Dali Lama-ish here. I totally get the ‘I hate her because she’s on television thing.’ It’s not the first time it’s happened and it definitely won’t be the last. What I’m saying is, no matter how good I am, how hard I’ve worked, what kind of sacrifices I’ve made to get to where I am, that woman chose to make her own decision about me and in no uncertain terms inform me of it.
So I let her and at the same time, I let myself act on instinct. I let go of all the would have, should have, could have’s and I did EXACTLY what I wanted to. I went “Back to Nature,” acting on my most basic instinct, which was to protect myself both emotionally and physically. I immediately removed myself from the situation. The decision itself and acting on it empowered me.
Not because I got away from her per se, but because I stood up for myself the best way I knew how. I clearly, concisely and quickly drew my boundary. Listen, I still felt like a pile of crap. I’m human. I mean no one wants to hear bad things about themselves, but at the same time, why do we stay? And I’m not just talking about listening to some woman yelling obscenities at me from the corner of a restaurant.
I’m talking about those friendships that make us feel bad, romantic relationships that leave us empty, dysfunctional family unions that hurt our hearts and professional relationships that bring us down. If we truly get “Back to Nature” and respect and love ourselves, we could spare ourselves so much unwarranted suffering. At least, I’d like to think we could.
After the blog shoot, my crew and I hustled over to our favorite neighborhood hang-out, Bar Meli, to join an already spirited farewell party. My good friend, Angela Caraway, who has been a Special Projects producer at Channel 7 for the last ten years, was hanging up her television hat for another opportunity.
A lot of my colleagues and friends, including myself, wanted to wish Angela well and celebrate her exciting new adventure. As soon as I joined the rambunctious, rowdy and really fun crowd, I was completely enveloped by their love and happiness. As we took pictures, talked, danced and laughed the night away, the hate the unknown woman had spewed at me earlier that night slowly melted from my heart.
Even though I know how important it is to surround yourself with good, positive people who lift you up an make you better, I had never seen the lesson as clear as I had that evening. Sometimes negative energy or toxic people are not as easily identified and it takes time, courage and undeniable will power to draw boundaries and choose what’s best for your own spirit.
I even think getting “Back to Nature,” takes a lot of practice. It takes time to discover who you are, what you want in life and how to manifest it. Then comes the hardest part: protecting and nurturing it. When I first set out to do this blog, it was going to be about putting my phone down, pushing my computer away and breathing in some fresh air; but over the last few weeks, I’ve come to realize it means so much more.
When my crew and I journeyed to Billie Swamp Safari on the Big Cypress Seminole Indian Reservation (for our shoot,) I was overwhelmed with its beauty. It was wild, mysterious, pure, magical, captivating and unpredictable. I couldn’t help but compare it to life itself. In the Everglades, getting “Back to Nature” cleared my head, opened my heart and made me realize…
Life isn’t just about karma: I’m nice to you, you’re nice to me; that’s only part of it. Ultimately, it’s about how we CHOOSE to treat ourselves (in any situation.) Love yourself enough to leave something toxic, care for yourself enough to walk away from negativity and respect yourself enough to always act in your own best interest (whatever that may be, even if it seems selfish at times.) Most importantly, be brave enough to believe your own instinct. Like nature, it will (for the most part,) always be right.
Shireen Sandoval: I adore Billie Swamp Safari. What a great experience it was spending the day in the great outdoors. How would you describe it?
Billie Swamp Safari: It’s a tourist attraction owned and managed by the Seminole Tribe of Florida. Here you can ride an airboat, swamp buggy, watch a Swamp Critter Show and Venomous Snake Show, you can also sleep here overnight in a Seminole chickee.
SS: I love the Airboat Ride! It was so amazing. What’s the overall experience like?
BSS: Our Airboat Ride is about 20 minutes long. Our guides take you through the trails that enter into Cypress Head. It’s magical; all around the boat you see cypress trees and foliage, turtles, fish, and alligators in their natural environment.
SS: The swamp buggy is so big in person! What does the Eco-Tour include?
BSS: The Swamp Buggy Eco-Tour is super bouncy; you get to splash through the swamp and venture on high ground for 45 minutes as your guide points out nature all around you. Commonly, you will see exotic and native animals including Water buffalo, Bison, Indian nilgai, elans, feral hogs and deer. There are hundreds of different birds; depending on the season some are migratory. Along the trail, you will see an abandoned Seminole Camp where you learn how Seminoles survived in the conditions of the swamp. Each tour is unique depending on the season and because the animals roam free around the 2,200 acres.
SS: There are so many animals to see and experience on your reservation.
BSS: When you are on the Big Cypress Reservation you could see so many different animals each time you visit; most often you will see the Florida alligator basking in the sun regulating his body temperature with his scoots. You might also see an opportunist raccoon and birds such as Herons, Osceola Turkeys and Hawks all looking for their next dinner. Only the very lucky ones will ever see the elusive Florida Panther.
SS: You have a snake show. Eek! What kind of snakes?
BSS: At the snake show, you get to learn fact from fiction as you sit safely and comfortably in an air-conditioned amphitheater. The handler presents (from behind a glass partition) venomous snakes such as the Diamondback rattler, Coral Snake, Cotton Mouth and a Pygmy Dusky Rose rattlesnake.
SS: Billie Swamp Safari is no stranger to fashion. What other shoots go on at the safari?
BSS: Last year, photographer Russell James shot on location for his exhibition “Seminole Spirit” http://russelljames.com/blog/288-seminole-spirit and in August, the 2015 Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Calendar Girls were photographed here as part of an AT&T TV commercial that was produced here is airing on Spanish Channels now.
SS: What is the Twilight Expedition?
BSS: You can journey out into the swamp at night aboard a swamp buggy, tours are 7-9pm, take a flashlight and see what is lurking in the dark and what eyes shine back at you. Some guests have seen panthers looking for prey, bears with their cubs or just alligators spying back at them from the water.
SS: If someone hasn’t been to the Everglades, why should they experience it?
BSS: The Everglades plays such an important part in our eco-system, including the fresh water we drink. Why not visit it and the inhabitants the Seminole Tribe to learn more about what’s in your own back yard. http://www.nps.gov/ever/learn/kidsyouth/water-water-everywhere.htm
The clothing in “Back to Nature” is a true reflection of the blog’s spirit, a mixture of nature and nurture; with wild prints, supple silks and textured accessories. Each look, by Koko & Palenki, is edgy (like life) comfy (what most of us long to be in any situation) and cool (how we try to act under pressure.)
Moving into spring: gypsy inspired dresses, tapered harem pants with great prints and a tank/blouse with a powerful pop of color (like the hot pink one pictured in the blog,) will keep your wardrobe fresh, functional and fashion forward. In the meantime, back to the restaurant…
I apologized to the woman before I walked out onto the patio for a lot of reasons. Sure, I wanted to keep my dignity and class intact because it’s important to me, but I also felt sad for her. Sad that perhaps she had had a bad day or her date wasn’t going as planned or worse, sad that she had so much hate in her heart.
Life is so fleeting and precious, spending even an ounce of time on something that doesn’t bring you love, laughter, comfort or just some type of normalcy (which I realize is subjective,) is a complete waste of the human spirit. I realize now, the lady in the restaurant represents a lot of things that have been happening in my life recently.
My inner circle (both professionally and personally) has changed dramatically over the last few months. Mainly because I’ve finally allowed myself to SEE and REMOVE the things and people from my life who have given me anxiety, stress, sadness and disappointment. What’s more, as the universe would have it, some of them were removed for me.
Whether it’s walking away from a person judging you in a restaurant or cleaning out the closet of your life, I can’t say getting “Back to Nature” will not be easy and I can’t say it won’t hurt. The truth is: growing, changing and evolving is painful, but at the same time, it’s also reinvigorating. It’s allowed me to regenerate my mind, body and soul…and that’s why it’s one of my favorite things.
Shop the blog looks at www.kokopalenki.com
Learn more about the Billie Swamp Safari www.billieswamp.com
Twitter: @billieswamp
Facebook: Billie Swamp Safari
Twitter: @ShireenSandoval
IG: @ShireenSandoval
ssandoval@wsvn.com
www.shireensandoval.com
Hair & Make-up: Odette Hernandez
Twitter: @Odettehernandz
IG: O.D.E.T.T
Assist: Jackie Kay
Blog ideas: Jackiekay211@yahoo.com
Editor: Matthew Auerbach
MattAuerbach@yahoo.com
shot by @tod_p