My first ballet recital was nothing short of a disaster; but at the same time, it was a small miracle of sorts. The disaster: when the curtain went up at the start of the show, I froze in first position. I was a total deer in the headlights as my fellow dancers (in pretty pink tutus and tight hair buns) pirouetted and plié’d around me.
My teacher, who was in the first row trying to enjoy the show, was horrified at what was happening, so she rushed backstage to help me. Although she stood quietly in the wings and whispered the routine out loud, her repetitive instructions made things worse. I started to panic and my eyes welled up with tears.
Instead of a quick recovery (actually, I would have settled for a slow one,) I just stood there…on stage…staring into the face of a collective audience and it freaked me out. Instead of being a young, well-trained, well-rehearsed dancer (like I desperately wanted to be,) I was officially a motionless zombie in a spritely, pale blue tutu.
I was beyond humiliated and when the curtain finally dropped, I did, too. Right into the arms of my teacher, where I wept openly with embarrassment. She patted my head and said softly: “Shireen, pull yourself together and get ready for the second half of the recital.” As she assisted me off stage she yelled into the wings of the theatre: “Ladies, the show must go on!”
I assumed she was talking to me, but I acted as if she were merely instructing the entire troupe. I couldn’t wrap my head around everything that was going on, but I faked it. Not only was I shocked at my teacher’s palpable enthusiasm, I was horrified that she actually wanted me back onstage. After all, hadn’t I just embarrassed my entire ballet school? I was riddled with shame at my performance (or rather, lack thereof,) and was desperately afraid I had disappointed my mother.
Here’s where the miracle part comes in. Despite being a single woman, working two jobs, with no husband and no help, my mom managed to gift me ballet lessons. I had begged her relentlessly for years, claiming to be a “Ballerina Wannabe.”
Much to her dismay, she caved and surprised me at the beginning of my 4th grade school year. Frankly, I never really knew how she managed to pull it off because we were always struggling to make ends meet, but she did and it was wonderful. It’s one of my fondest childhood memories.
I still remember how the cheap, overhead fluorescent lighting in the studio of my first class buzzed like a gigantic fruit fly. The room was small, smelled of wood cleaner and Windex and the floor squeaked with age. I was tall, lanky and incredibly awkward. I felt odd and embarrassed the majority of the time, but when I danced, I felt like I belonged (even though, for the most part, I was treated like I didn’t.)
My mother drove me from a poor part of town (the outskirts) to take my lessons and even though I tried mixing and mingling with the big city girls who were petite and pretty, they didn’t accept me. I had curly hair, big teeth and was easily intimidated. After my first lesson, I told my mom: “Ballet just isn’t for me.” She disagreed and bought me the prerequisite bodysuit, tights, tutu and ballet shoes.
So, it would come to pass, that every week on Wednesday night, my mother and I would make the long journey from our tiny part of town into the big city, so that I could learn to twist, turn and tackle my “Ballerina Wannabe” dreams. At first, the class was overwhelmingly hard on me (both physically and emotionally.)
If I wasn’t trying to fit in and find my place amongst the other ballerinas, I was busy learning to control my lanky limbs with elegance and grace. At just nine years old, it was obvious to me that I wasn’t the best student in the class, but my teachers encouraged me by complimenting my upbeat personality and positive attitude.
They told me that to be a good dancer, I would need unwavering determination, excruciating commitment and a whole lotta heart. I responded (each and every week, along with my other classmates,) that I, indeed, had all three. At the end of the night, after each class, I would find comfort in the car and sleep the entire drive home nudged against my mother’s lap. Finally, it was time for my first year recital.
As the curtain went up (this time on the second half of the show,) I somehow managed to find my footing. At first, I eagerly copied the ballerinas beside me; as I grew more confident, my memory came back and so did my moves. I think at one point, I even managed to crack a smile. In the end, I bowed with gusto, but man, I was sure glad it was over.
After the recital, I found my mother in the crowd holding a bouquet of flowers. She was so pretty and she looked so happy. She handed me the flowers and congratulated me on a job well-done. Instead of thanking her, though, I started to cry and confessed I was sorry if I had embarrassed her.
She responded quickly with something I’ll never forget: “I’m proud of you for all the hard work and commitment you’ve put into ballet, but I admire and respect you for how you pulled yourself together and kept going when you thought you couldn’t.”
I smiled at her through my tears and we embraced. I didn’t really know what she meant, but I did know what it meant to see your parent struggling because they have nothing and they sacrifice everything to give you something. It’s special and you don’t wanna mess it up. My mother sacrificed her time, energy and money to make me happy and the crazy thing is – she didn’t have any of it to give.
I learned a lot that year. Mainly, that anything worth having takes a lot of hard work, dedication and sometimes, it even means facing your biggest fears. Ballet scared me, but the thought of performing crippled me and the thought of letting my mother down, who at the time was just trying to keep it together, matured me.
I didn’t go back to ballet the following year because, like most kids, I was on to something else, but the lessons I learned while pursing my “Ballerina Wannabe” dreams not only stayed with me, they’re the very foundation I’ve used to build and maintain my television and writing career: unwavering determination, excruciating commitment and a whole lotta heart.
Because of ballet I became more confident, took more risks, learned what practicing discipline actually meant and faced my fears (any kind of public performing.) The aforementioned didn’t make me unstoppable, per se, but it did indeed make me a lot braver and from that moment on (the “deer in the headlights” dance recital) when I was faced with a challenge, I embraced it.
I mean, what was the worse thing that could happen? Sure, I could fail, but I could also try again. After all, I stood in front of an audience doing nothing and they still clapped in the end. I jest, but in all seriousness, sometimes all we need is someone to believe in us, give us the opportunity and let us prove we can do it, not just to them, but to OURSELVES.
Despite not making it in the professional world of releve’s and plié’s; luckily there are plenty of other ways to get caught up in the captivating lifestyle of a dancer. More specifically, the beautiful physique and whimsical fashion sense of a prima ballerina.
As we grow older, getting a longer, leaner body may take some serious time and effort, but the good news is, it’s totally do-able. I recently found out the secret to a ballerina-like body at one of my new favorite places, Barre Motion. I caught up with Julie Jacko, the studio’s Creator/Founder and Master Instructor (pictured in the green and black tights in the blog,) for a little barre talk.
Shireen Sandoval: What’s the first thing that pops into your head when I say ballerina?
Julie Jacko: Supremely artistic athleticism.
SS: Why are people so fascinated with the life of a ballerina?
JJ: Ballerinas begin with a gift and then they dedicate their lives to constantly striving (day after day, year after year,) to master their gift and share it with the rest of us. We are fascinated by the life of a ballerina because we know the vast majority of us are not capable of achieving the same.
SS: What is the concept of Barre Motion and how does it correlate with the “ballet lifestyle?”
JJ: The Barre Motion workout is built on the premise of mastery; to master something, one must practice it. In order for it to be practice-able, there must be complex elements that one performs over and over and measurable, visible improvement realized over time. When I conceived Barre Motion, I wanted to create something where the pull of mastery would be so strong it would compel those who practice it to want to seek mastery of it. Like in ballet, mastery of Barre Motion involves both mastering athletic elements like strength, stamina, and flexibility, as well as mastering aesthetic elements like gracefulness, fluidity of movement, and perfected posture.
SS: What gave you the idea/dream to open your studio and how did you make it happen?
JJ: I opened the studio because I wanted to create a place of unparalleled beauty that is recognized for offering the most effective, the most transformative and the safest form of barre fitness available anywhere. The Barre Motion studio on South Beach is the realization of this vision. It is breathtakingly beautiful. The method that is taught in the studio is unique to Barre Motion. From the floor and mats, to the lack of hand weights, to the structure and order of the exercise, to the exceptional credentials of the instructors, it all adds up to an experience that you cannot get anywhere else. I made it happen by surrounding myself with the right people, attending to every detail of the Barre Motion experience, and working around the clock for the last 15 months to bring my vision to fruition.
SS: How does practicing barre change a person’s body?
JJ: Barre Motion uses a form of interval training that consists of sequences of exertions and stretches. We first exert major and minor muscle groups to complete exhaustion using small, precise, controlled movements and then we intensely stretch those same muscles. Every exertion is followed by an intense stretch. In this way, we re-shape the musculature. In a short amount of time, the muscles become stronger and much more flexible, resulting in a longer, leaner, more lifted aesthetic. The results come quickly and are visible and dramatic.
SS: How long does it take to see results?
JJ: Barre Motion clients see the results very quickly. Within one week, you feel like you have woken up your body. It will feel more taut and you will move with more ease. In two weeks, your clothes will begin fitting differently. You will discover that you have more tone and length in your limbs and torso. Within one month, the results of Barre Motion will be even more dramatic. You will have gained overall flexibility. Your torso will have become narrower and flatter, you will discover incredible core strength.Your arms will be strong with no added bulkiness. Your legs will more closely resemble the legs of your early youth (elongated, sculpted and lean.) Your seat will be high and lifted. You will discover the emergence of the highly coveted “dancer’s dent” where your gluts meet your upper thigh. You will know what it means to have perfect posture.
SS: Is Barre Motion for all fitness levels?
JJ: Yes! We offer two levels of barre classes: Signature Motion and Advanced Motion. Signature Motion classes are designed for anyone at any level of fitness. Advanced Motion classes have been designed for clients experienced in barre-based exercise, who are prepared to handle a faster paced class, incorporating advanced movements that are intensely focused on major muscle groups.
SS: So much of the ballerina style has influenced what people wear to work out these days. What trend clothing-wise do you love to wear when you teach?
JJ: I’m inspired by the current trend of blurring the lines between workout wear and fashion. When I teach, I love to create layers of textures and shapes that are inspired by classic ballet, but also wholly contemporary in design. A great example is pairing a bra that has a strappy, sexy back with a layer worn over it, perhaps in the form of a top that has inlaid mesh in the back to make the strappyness of the bra visible. I might then wear a long-sleeve, fitted shrug that keeps my arms and shoulders warm while also serving as a counterpoint to the openness of my back.
SS: I love your studio. It’s so gorgeous. How would you describe it?
JJ: I designed the Barre Motion studio to be a reflection of the natural beauty as well as the sophistication of Miami Beach. From the shades of white color palette, to the rich textures and energetic vibe, the studio was custom-designed to be hip and minimalistic while also reflecting a sense of glamour and good taste.
SS: Do you have a favorite ballet and ballerina of all time?
JJ: I am a romantic by nature, so I guess it’s no surprise that my favorite ballet is Giselle, which was first performed in Paris in 1841. One of the things I love is Giselle’s ballet-blanc, or corps of women in white, which is simply breathtaking.
Mastering a magnificent physique is only part of the “Ballerina Wannabe” trend. Dressing like a dancer is not only stylish, it’s cool, comfortable and perfect for our laid back Florida lifestyle.
Lululemon on Lincoln Road on South Beach helped me and my new friends at Barre Motion get dolled up in their latest and greatest dance wear (which works well for yoga and pilates, too.) Stand-out styles include: bracelet-style bras, breathable tanks, flexible stirrup tights, leg-warmers, long socks and footy socks (toeless and covered.) I also love their rich cashmere sweaters, which are easy to toss around your shoulders (all pictured in the blog.)
For a little blog fashion drama, I added my own vintage tutu from C. Madeleine’s in North Miami Beach. Remember, when working the “Ballerina Wannabe” trend, it’s all about ease and elegance. Most fashionistas know work-out wear isn’t just for the gym anymore, it’s all purpose, not to mention pretty. In the meantime…
After 4th grade, my mom and I never really talked much about my “Ballerina Wannabe” dreams again, until a few years ago. She called me up one day and asked me if I had ever heard the song, “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack.
I knew about it, but at the time wasn’t really big on country music. My mom had just discovered the song, despite it being released awhile ago. Anyway, she told me the reason she finally put me in ballet class all those years ago was answered in the very lyrics of that very song.
“I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’,
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to selling out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance.”
My mom knew taking me out of my comfort zone and introducing me to different people, places and things would not only challenge me, it would help me grow and ultimately teach me about life and how she hoped that I would live it…
Which I’ve tried to do with unwavering determination, excruciating commitment and a whole lotta heart and that’s why my “Ballerina Wannabe” dreams (including my “deer in the headlights” dance recital,) will always be one of my favorite things.
For more information on Barre Motion www.barremotionmiami.com
Twitter: @BarreMotion
Instagram: @BarreMotion
FB: Barre Motion Fitness Center
Or shop the “Ballerina Wannabe” look at Lululemon on South Beach.
846 Lincoln Rd.
Miami Beach, FL. 33139
Mon-Sat: 10am-10pm, Sun: 10am-9pm
FB: Lululemon Athletica Lincoln Road www.lululemon.com
Special thanks to Robin Diamond Public Relations
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Photographer: James Woodley
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