I was majorly hazed in college, but not in the traditional sense. I wasn’t trying out for some sorority or organization linked to a fraternity; I was simply playing a game of catch-up. After a few years of pageant/modeling life (and at the constant urging of my parents,) I returned home to New Mexico to finish my college education.
It’s what my mom and dad called "Plan B"… you know, just in case my career in front of the camera didn’t work out. Honestly, I was glad, too. I was tired of the hustle and bustle of real life and longed to be a kid again or at least a young adult trying to navigate the normal decisions of life.
When I returned to college, though, it just wasn’t the same. All of my friends had graduated, the curriculum for my major had changed and I was a completely different person. When I was on my own pursing my dreams, I had become more mature, responsible, hard-working and even a little bit jaded (because, at the time, the world around me demanded it.) The college world was so far removed from any of that, it didn’t feel real; but unfortunately, that was about to change.
After settling into my dorm (I was able to score a private room because I had re-enrolled with a pretty decent GPA,) I got my on-campus bearings back, which pretty much consisted of life split between the library, student television station and theatre. I wasn’t a party girl, I didn’t hang with a clique and although I wasn’t particularly social, I did get on with mostly everyone. That’s why I was surprised the morning that I found my old, light blue Buick that my parents had let me borrow for the semestercompletely filled with trash. It was absolutely annihilated.
Despite finding my car in complete disarray, I was due in class for a test, so I just left it and made my way across campus on foot. Luckily, I arrived just in time. Afterward, I spent the better part of the afternoon cleaning the trash out of my car. I called the campus police, but with little evidence (besides the garbage) and no real enemies to speak of, it was an open and shut case. The car reeked for weeks.
As time went on, the hazing (which in today’s terms would actually be referred to as bullying,) got worse. The only difference was, eventually there were faces to go along with the overt discretions. A girl named "Sissy" and five of her closest running mates, who had known each other since high school, had committed the majority of their free time to making my life a living hell.
At first, I didn’t know why, but quickly found out that her former high school boyfriend, who was now a big player in a popular on-campus fraternity, had taking a liking to me and she wasn’t happy about it. In fact, she wanted to reconcile with him and well, that’s not what he wanted. I’d love to say this was like something straight out of a movie, all dramatic and romantic, but the truth is, the entire experience was devastating and left me beyond distraught, feeling scared and extremely withdrawn.
No matter where I went on campus, the aforementioned group of girls would hunt me down, push me around and speak disparagingly to me. And forget about going to a social function: I was threatened with bodily harm. The group didn’t just intimidate me, they intimidated my friends and even tried sabotaging my grades. At first, I didn’t ask for help. I just tried dealing it with it the best I could and when I had free time I wasn’t spending it at school. It got to the point that…
Each and every weekend, I would drive five hours, if not longer, just to go home and spend time with my parents. They quizzed me as to why I wasn’t spending time with friends and enjoying my collegiate life. At first, I lied,telling them I missed them and even though I did, in all honesty, I was petrified. When my behavior grew erratic and my grades started to suffer, my parents confronted me.
I gave in, tearfully confessing to what was happening and begged them to let me drop out and return to my old life, where I fit in better and where people’s individualities were celebrated and nurtured, not punished. My parents quickly took action, helping me reach out to my guidance counselor, professors, even the dean of my particular department to explain the situation.
Upon my parents urging, I took one last desperate step in hopes of stopping the bullying (actually it wouldn’t be the last step, but at the time I thought it was.) I pleaded with the former boyfriend to talk to "Sissy" to perhaps help alleviate the situation. I even begged him to date her again. What happened next is completely mind-boggling.
Despite a dozen or so adults protecting me, the campus community being alerted to the egregious behavior toward me and "Sissy’s" former boyfriend’s pleas: NOTHING CHANGED. If anything, it made her even crazier and it looked like the only thing left for me to do was quit. Yes, QUIT COLLEGE. Well, if you know anything about my dad, that was NOT going to happen.
As one of the founding fathers of the U.S. Army’s Delta Force (a retired Command Sergeant Major and a fifth degree black belt,) allowing me to be overcome with fear and quit my education didn’t sit well with him. So, he sat me down and gave me a good-long-hard talk, mapping out a plan that would allow me to learn how to protect myself, build my self-esteem and strengthen my character.
Over the next few months, while laying extremely low on campus, I returned home every weekend to train with my dad in the art of self-defense. He didn’t teach me one style in particular; instead, it was a bag of Mixed Marital Arts tricks. I want to make one thing clear, before continuing. This wasn’t about teaching me how to pick a fight or to become a fighter. It was to ensure if I were ever jumped or attacked, I would be able to protect myself and, if need be, teach someone that I should be respected and not pushed around.
During my training, I grew stronger, both mentally and physically. I also grew less scared. In turn, I was able to resume somewhat of a normal campus life, despite the bee’s nest that constantly swarmed around me. Finally, I did something normal by accepting an invitation to a fraternity party (not the one "Sissy’s" former boyfriend was in; I’m not that crazy.) Unfortunately, rumors swirled around school that "Sissy" was dead-set on pummeling me the night of the soiree. Of course, part of me believed it, but another part of me was in complete denial. Until that fateful night…
As I pushed through the crowd toward the dance floor with a few of my friends, I could see "Sissy" and her gang headed towards me. I alerted my posse and immediately headed for the door, but it was too late, she was coming straight at me. My adrenaline suddenly spiked (my dad told me it would,) as I assessed the situation. I calmed myself with a few deep breaths and thought out several different scenarios. The place was packed and "Sissy" had limited visibility to my exact whereabouts.
When she got a little more than an arm’s length away, she drew her fist back and threw a hard punch. Reacting quickly, I grabbed the person in front of me, pushing them into her powerful jab. Just as she made contact, I lunged forward grabbing her head (actually it was the left and right side of her hair) and with my entire body weight, dropped to my knees pulling her down with me. Her face, more specifically, the bridge of her nose made contact with my knee. It was quick, simple and effective. What’s more, "Sissy" (and her gang) never bothered me again.
It was a defining moment for me and not because I had won that battle. Instead, I had conquered a fear and as a result, set myself free both emotionally and physically. The burden of being harassed almost instantly evaporated and my emotional distress receded (albeit, slowly.) The truth is, it could have gone the other way; but if it had, at least I would have had the strength to stand up for myself and that was half the battle. The entire experience taught me a lot about life, but it also left me with a healthy fascination of Mixed Martial Arts.
That’s why when my photographer, James Woodley, suggested I meet Master John "Phoenix" Le Grand and Sensei Jonathan Fields from Lost Legacy MMA, I jumped at the chance. James had photographed them at the beginning of his career and said meeting them would be a special encounter; especially as he knew my father’s history and my keen interest in the sport. He was 100 percent right…
The duo is, indeed, a gifted pair. Master Phoenix is elegant, regal and lethal. Sensei Jonathan is quick, strong and unassuming (in other words, he doesn’t look like the kind of guy who could kill you with his pinky finger.) I jest, but the truth is, they probably both could. While shooting the blog pictures, their skills were so impressive, it was hard to concentrate on what I was doing. I was in complete awe of their agility and beyond impressed with the grace of their art.
The spirit of this blog is about strength and confidence, because it not only relates to life, but also to Fall fashion. It’s a time when stores are filled with the bold and the beautiful and really, how could you NOT make a statement standing in a picture with two Ninja warriors? My stylist, Jackie, and I really milled over what styles were strong enough to take center-stage for a great September fall fashion blog and she was dead set on a collaboration with cabi.
With an amazing red jacket, camel-colored coat and yummy grey cape, it was easy to say “goodbye, Summer; hello, Fall!” I also love cabi’s roomy, wide-legged trousers, uber-soft leggings and fab Harlequin dress. Bringing all of these chic outfits together are chunky accessories and a gorgeous vintage-inspired broach belt. The best part about "Kickin’ it with cabi" was the fact that everything seemed to mix and match, creating a wardrobe that just kept on giving.
Strength in style and Mixed Martial Arts may not be on every fashionistas bucket list, but for me it is and part of the reason is because of what happened to me in college all those years ago. Now, with role models like Ronda Rousey taking center stage in Hollywood, fashion and of course, the sports world, the timing of "Kickin’ it with cabi" has never been so perfect. Thanks to a little one-on-one with Master Phoenix, here’s some insight into what makes this sport so fashionable and freaking amazing!
Shireen Sandoval: You’re an impressive athlete. Tell me about your training.
Master John "Phoenix" Le Grand: I started my training in 1974. Both of my parents are Black Belts and I was under the Supervision of my Uncles. Grand Master Tiger Jude Innocent was a disciple of Grand Master Carter Wong, an international movie star. With him, I studied a Chinese Kung Fu style mixed with Japanese Karate. I also cross-trained in Tae Kwon Do under Grand Master Tiger Paul Innocent. Later on, I had the opportunity to train under legendary Japanese JiuJitsu and Ninjitsu Grand Masters like Richard Sinclair, O’Sensei Ronald Duncan & Professor Moses Powell.
SS: What is the actual definition of Mixed Martial Arts?
MP: Most people think of it as a sport that is exclusive to UFC and only relates to styles like Brazilian Jiujitsu, kickboxing and wrestling. In reality, most of those fighters probably started with traditional Martial Arts, but never earned a black belt from any particular discipline. Bruce Lee was actually the first to openly promote mixed martial arts on an international level. His theory was that to be effective in real life-and- death combat, you needed to be well versed with other peoples’ fighting styles and practice with as many different opponents as possible.
SS: People may not see Martial Arts as stylish, but you indeed have your own dress code and manner of artistic expression through your clothing.
MP: Our image and style depicts that of a Super Hero. We used different traditional outfits and uniforms to tell a story and represent some of the types of martial arts we study.
SS: What was your reaction when I told you I wanted you to be in my fashion blog?
MP: We were very open to the concept because we knew it would be a great fit. Also, we had previously worked with your super-talented photographer, James Woodley. We had a vision to create a movie poster-type of look. And we knew that your unique style mixed with James’ expertise would be the ultimate collaboration. We’re absolutely thrilled with the results of the photos.
SS: What lessons have you learned about life through your training?
MP: Be humble, give back to the community and help those in need.
SS: You’ve created your own discipline. Tell me about it.
MP: The name of our Discipline is called LOST LEGACY SYSTEMS. It’s an umbrella system designed to develop well-rounded individuals, and not to limit them to one style or mindset. In order to show respect to our foundations, we refer to our system as Traditional MMA. Lost Legacy is a mix of Japanese Jujitsu, Judo, Ninjutsu, Kobujitsu (weaponry), Chinese Kung Fu, Korean Tae Kwon Do and American Boxing and Grappling.
SS: What is the philosophy behind your Martial Art?
MP: The philosophy of Lost Legacy is "to know thyself." It’s a lifestyle and crucial life skills. It’s the way of the warrior and the scholar.
SS: How would a person benefit from taking your class?
MP: Strength, health, leadership, discipline, respect, friendship, peace, humility, power.
SS: What about someone like me, a fashionista who’s not so coordinated, but would love to take away something from your discipline?
MP: Bruce Lee said there are 3 aspects to Martial Arts. Some people can be great fighters, some great teachers and some will be drawn to the spiritual component, which is mostly lost within today’s world of MMA. With practice, anything is possible. The only limits are the one you impose on yourself.
SS: I’ve been told you’re well-respected within the Martial Arts world; can you tell me about your status and achievements?
MP: I’m currently an 8th degree Black Belt and earlier this year I received a Silver Lifetime Achievement Award for 35-plus years in the Martial Arts from Action Martial Arts Hall of Honor. This would make this my 9th Martial Arts Hall of Fame since 1999. I am a proud board member under the Kuro Bushi International, which is a strong community of Grand Masters & Masters. I’ve had the honor to train UFC fighters like Marcus "the Bama Beast" Brimage and bodyguard NFL Superstars like Willis McGahee. But the most rewarding thing is mentoring young individuals; being a positive role model in their lives and watching them grow into successful adults.
SS: What’s your life mantra?
MP: No excuses. Just do your best, one day at a time.
www.LostLegacyMma.com, FB: @LostLegacyMma, IG: @LostLegacyMma
Twitter: @LostLegacyMma, Youtube: @LostLegacyMartialArt
Shop the blog looks at www.cabionline.com
Twitter: @ShireenSandoval
IG: @ShireenSandoval
www.shireensandoval.com
Photographer: James Woodley
Twitter: @BritFloridian
IG: @BritFloridian
www.James-Woodley.com
Hair & Make-up: Odett Hernandez
Twitter: @Odettehernandz
IG: Odett_herndz
Styling/Co-Producer/Assist: Jackie Kay
blog ideas: Jackiekay211@yahoo.com
Editor: Matthew Auerbach
MattAuerbach@yahoo.com